The Five Secrets of Perpetual Poverty

The Five Secrets of Perpetual Poverty

Fear of success can be a wonderful thing. In a world full of a millionaires and billionaires, who needs another? Why trouble with all that when being poor is so much easier?

Any Tom, Dick, or Harry can tell you how to get rich… for a price. The truth is, though, that the secret to getting rich could not be simpler: Make more money than you spend every single week, and eventually you will find that you are wealthy. Now you need never pay for another “Get Rich in Your Jammies” self-help business book ever again. I just put you on that path if you choose it.

But, like I said, you might want to consider staying poor. The tax burden is much lighter. A lot of burdens are much lighter. For a rich person, the thought of not driving a Mercedes is too much to bear. For a poor person, the thought of not driving at all is not at all troubling. It may even be a relief.

If you are worried that you might find yourself not being poor at some point, you need to keep reading. I am about to reveal…

The Five Secrets of Perpetual Poverty:

Keep telling yourself that your hard work will pay off… as you work for someone else. Let me tell you something: Working hard for someone else is like giving all of your own profit to a middleman. Working for somebody else almost guarantees that you will remain in poverty or close enough to it that you might as well be living under a bridge. The one exception to this rule is if you join a union. You won’t get rich as a union member, but you won’t stay poor either. So beware of unions and beware of starting your own business if you want to remain poor.

Drink like a maniac. Drinking alone won’t make you poor in most cases, but the more you drink, the better your chances of ending up dead and penniless in the gutter just like your favorite poet. Even if you don’t meet that fate, blowing your money at the bar is a great way to stay poor in any case.

Never make any sacrifices or delay your own gratification. Go ahead and purchase that car that you can’t really afford. Get the deluxe cable package. Eat out instead of cooking. The goal here is to remain poor, not to save money. The deeper in debt you go for the things that you think will make you happy, the better.

Whatever you do, never — EVER — find fault with yourself or make any attempt to learn anything. Education is the mortal enemy of poverty. The more you learn, the greater chance that you will earn. Keep making the same mistakes, telling yourself that you know everything you need to know, and generally being an ignorant jerk. That’s the way to stay poor, not that all poor people are ignorant jerks. By the way, a lot of rich people are ignorant jerks so this step alone won’t open the door to lifelong poverty, but it certainly helps.

Pay no attention to your finances. Why bother checking your credit reports? You want to pay the highest possible price for everything. Minding your Ps and Qs will get you nowhere fast if you’re trying to stay poor. Make sure that you pay as much as you can for insurance and on your interest rates.

I can confidently predict that if you take to heart all five of these highly sought secrets to a poor and simple life, that is the life you will have. Good luck!